Jeff Randall presented the Feb. 19 “Own your Emotions” workshop at the Laramie County Library to approximately 35 people trying to educate themselves about emotions to help themselves and those in their lives. The workshop was the first of six to be a part of the “From just Surviving to Thriving!” series created by the coalition.
“People who regulate their emotions well can get a lot accomplished. We don’t want to deny them though,” Randall said. It takes “emotional intelligence” to regulate emotions in a productive way. Randall defined emotional intelligence as the ability to monitor one's own and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
The No. 1 recommendation Randall gave to improve a person’s emotional intelligence was to acknowledge emotions. If a person lets his emotions run him, he seems out-of-control, Randall said. However, he added, the emotions cannot be denied as they are part of the human experience.
“If we blame our emotions for what we do, we become victim to them. We can change emotions through changing how we think,” Randall said, explaining how intellect must come before emotions and a person must understand and analyze his thoughts before acting. This also involves analyzing the emotions of the people around us, Randall said.
“A lot of the pain that we are dealing with is really only thoughts,” Randall said. “They are nothing more than words.”
This does not mean we need to deny our thoughts. Randall suggested the best method to comfort a depressed person is to ask him his thoughts and accept them. Do not tell a person the thoughts are wrong, he said, but tell him it will be OK despite what he is thinking. “A lot of what we worry about never happens,” he added. “We work ourselves up over nothing.”
Randall uses motorcycle riding as his therapy, and many of the skills used in motorcycle riding translate through to emotional intelligence. Randall favors the pneumonic SEE; a motorcyclist and emotionally intelligent person must always “Search, Evaluate and Execute.” This means a person must recognize what is coming toward him, decide on a plan of action that will benefit him and execute that plan.
“I only have three actions on my bike: stop/slow down, speed up or swerve. I have to decide what I am going to do in each encounter,” Randall said. “What’s your evasive action plan?”
This comes in handy especially if we are a support system for someone else, Randall said. Are we a part of someone else’s plan? Do we know our part in the plan? Randall explained having a SEE plan in case of a trigger such as a recovering alcoholic passing his favorite bar could mean the difference between continuing on the path to recovery or a relapse. In the case of someone who is suicidal, having a SEE plan could mean the difference between life and death.
Randall is pursuing a master’s in licensed clinical social work at the University of Wyoming and works as an intern for Veterans Affairs in Cheyenne. He has spoken multiple times for the Stop Suicide Cheyenne coalition.
The Stop Suicide Cheyenne coalition is a group made up of Peak Wellness Health Center, Grace for Two Brothers, the Wyoming Department of Health and volunteers. The coalition is designed to help those who are considering suicide and those who have experienced suicide in their life. Visit stopsuicidecheyenne.org for more information on the group.
Six more free workshops are available in 2015 at the Laramie County Library from 5:30-6:30 p.m.
- March 19: “Financial success is within reach” Learn strategies to pay off debt eight to 10 years sooner; retirement and investment strategies; how life insurance really works and more. Presented by Robin Jankowski and Odion Oisamoje, managing principal and registered principal of Primerica Financial Services. Cottonwood Room, first floor.
- April 16: “Hoping and coping” Learn how to cope with stress in a positive way. Presented by Rakhshi Hamid, marriage and family therapist and director of the Center for Secondary Students at LCCC. Cottonwood Room, first floor.
- May 21: “Nothing about us, without us” Rhianna Brand will share her personal stories of loss and the challenges faced during her life, including a near brush with suicide. She will discuss circumstances and offer tools to cope with tough situations. A panel of suicide survivors and counselors will be available to answer any and all questions pertaining to suicide. Sunflower Room, third floor.
- June 18: “I’m the Same Person…Just totally different” Practical tips and resources will be available for navigating the grief journey. This workshop is open to teens and adults. Presented by BJ Ayers, founder of Grace for 2 Brothers. Sunflower Room, third floor.
- July 16: “Don’t be a hater. Love your body, love yourself” Challenge your perspective about beauty, food, trends and your body. All ages are welcome to attend, but teens are encouraged to join the discussion. Presented by Candise Leininger, LPC. Sunflower Room, third floor.